Everything Else

That’s what it’s called.

I’M GOING TO BERLIN THIS WEEKEND AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU (OR VISA) CAN DO ABOUT IT.

(actually I guess Visa are happy about my idiotic spending)

Here’s a stream to brighten up your lunchbreak.

So I’m absolutely sure that at least one of you reading this (assuming more than say, 5 people read here daily) was at that party for Hennessy brandy last night in the Sugar Club. It was a pretty transparent attempt to make Hennessy seem something other than whatever it is already (I have no feelings on it), with a jazz singer reminding you between songs that “this is an evening of different styles”.

I liked that because it backed up my (not even half baked) theory that this phony eclecticism and its weak corporate embrace of “diversity” is one of the most popular marketing/advertising fads of the 00s. (see also those Diet Coke “be yourself” campaigns)

Even with the free booze (which was horrible anyway) my friends and I left after about a half hour, because basically it felt incredibly weird sitting in this Hennessy only atmosphere being marketed to by a singer whose “edgy” songs were called “Christmas Card From A Hooker”. I don’t know why white 30 something yuppies love these imitations of ancient jazz but they seem to. Dinner jazz to me, a white 20 something yuppie, is like someone scraping their nails down a blackboard.

But the whole thing also got me thinking: why are Hennessy rebranding? Are they trying to bury the gangsta rap association under a big pile of mini hamburger hors d’oeuvres and daring cups of fish and chips? Or drown it under litres and litres of Hennessy served as “sophisticated” cocktails.

Whatever they’re up to, the resounding impression at any such party is that booze companies have far too much money. I mean, bags and bags and bags of money. More than they know what to do with, more than anyone would know what to do with.

As I said to a friend, you look around and think there’s a karmic punishment on the way for all this spending. “Someday soon they’ll invent digital booze and these guys are fucked”.

1st i would like to say that not only has punk rock been a major part of my life for over 20 years ive also respected it for that long also and thats why I’m sick of little kids and record producers and music stores and websites thinking little pop groups and little artsy emo groups and dance groups like blink 182 and simple plan and Good Charlotte and greenday and Hawthorne Heights and afi and Dashboard Confessional and Panic! At the Disco and Taking Back Sunday and All American Rejects and Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance and Yellowcard and Relient K and Less Than Jake and Coheed & Cambria and Armor for Sleep and Bowling for Soup and Jimmy Eat World and Motion City Soundtrack and Offspring and the plain white t’s and The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and My Chemical Romance and Hellogoodbye and Gym Class Heroes and Boys Like Girls and Cartel and …(well, i could go on for hours)…are punk rockers. because it should be clear to anyone that has listened to them for less then a second that they aren’t close to being in the same realm as real punk rock in anyway!. If they want to listen to that junk fine ill live after all i made it through crap like poison and all the rest of that hair meatal crap in the 80’s and the backsteet boys and all of the boyband crap in the 90’s (Like there really is a difference when you look at most of it.). But at least call all of that pop and emo and artsy crap something else that truly shows what it really is (like art rock or neo goth or just pop or alt would work) and let real punk rock rest in peace with what little respect it still has.It died in 84 so it wouldnt become some soft kiddy pop trend (yeah there might have been 1 or 2 albums that came out afterwards but nearly all were from bands that came out pre-84 and were just kind of giving punk rock its last gasp of breath because they refused to look at the big picture and see the truth)…

Real punk rock is timeless so stop saying that just because an album isn’t made within the last 5 or 10 years its not worth your time thats being closed-minded and if any bands these days were really punk rock i would say so TRUST ME! and i also like to point out that i love bands from lots of differnt kinds genres of music, just not all.. but for good reason!, (but real punk rock is far beyond just music!) and can you guess what is not only one of my 10 favorite of all time, but may very well be the best band to come along in the last 16 years and has one of the most innovative, breathtaking, and transcending sounds of any band in the history of not only rock but music period? its Sigur Rós and they are FAR from punk rock but if you just look at their musical expertise and NOTHING ELSE they may be one of the best bands to come out in the last 25-50 years… but punk rock rock is far beyond just music (just like the true rebel rock of 50’s that laid the foundation of all true hard rock and metal was far more then just music) so…

THE BOTTOM LINE IS: If you want to know what real punk rock is then listen to the sex pistols album -Never Mind the Bollocks Here’s the Sex Pistols- they are and it is punk rock in its most raw, ungrateful, destructive, rebellious and ultimately greatest form and the place to see if you are truly part of punk rock or just in its way! and i hope at the very least you see how foolish and childish it is to even try and call all the pop and emo and artsy crap of today punk rock and wake up and realize Real punk rock is about creating conflicts not stopping them!. Thats why im sick of people bring up the clash every time they talk about punk rock. The clash were just u2 with a little more of a rock edge (And u2 are just tree hugging save the world so we can fill good new age hippies with a little bit more of a rock edge.). So in the end im sure all of the kids and so called adults would hate for people to think that the little emo and pop groups and that you listen to were about what real punk rock is about anyway. And remember i said REAL punk rock you know, the kind of music that is about destruction, chaos, anarchy and rebellion (And when i say that i don’t mean it as some buzzword there are real anarchists out there and and we use punk rock as our political stance and our way of life and NOT as some pop music trend!.). And also, punk rock can be used be used to scare and intimidate and just make the rest of the world suffer for your own enjoyment on the side (A nice plus if you ask me). The bottom line is when you step on punk rock your stepping on something bigger then just music and you wont like what you wont like the outcome that you make for yourself and other by doing so!. And i would like to also point out that punk ROCK is just that, a form of ROCK!. I think most people forget that it IS a form of rock and not only that its the hardest form of rock there is and how can a band be called a punk rock band when its not even a rock band to begin with? and i would also like to note that im not just saying that the sex pistols are the only real punk rock group or the only good punk rock group why i only mention them is because i am writing this to try and show people the difference in punk rock and all of this pop and emo crap and not bore them to death on some history lesson and what better way to do that then to simply let them listen to the best example possible and then if they really like what real punk rock is then they will not only go and find other real punk rock bands but, will also try and see what real punk rock is all about on they’re own. If they don’t and they want to go back to the fake pop and emo crap of today then fine but at least they will know what punk rock is really about and know that the weak pop and dance and emo crap that they listen to is by no means real punk rock and thats the important thing and also hopefully places like amazon and mtv wont try and promote the lie with them (wake up emo is newage goth music amazon and mtv, and pop is just that pop and dance music again is just that dance music)!.

Lastly, i would like to call out all the so called punk rockers (remember what i said earlier people punk rock is a form of ROCK so maybe if real punk rockers would use the word rock people wouldnt think its some pop tread) that say that you really shouldn’t care about something this much. Well, why put your time into it? real punk rockers know this is worth fighting for and thats why we do it and also to all the nerds (why do nerds even think that anyone with half a brain would think that weak little nerds could really be punk rockers anyway?!?!?!?!?!? they are like the least punk rock thing i know of!) whos heads are about to explode because i didnt use the best gramer writing this GOOD! there are more important things in life to worry about!.

AND STOP WATCHING TRL ITS THE ONE OF THE MANY REASONS WHY PEOPLE DON’T KNOW WHAT REAL PUNK ROCK (OR WHAT ANY REAL ROCK) IS THESE DAYS

(This sounds familiar)

The worst thing about violence or aggression is that it makes you feel like retaliating with violence or aggression is right.

Last night I was out and on my way to the bathroom some guy was hassling literally everyone who was in the queue. He attacked each person in turn, culminating with”what are you going to do about it” over and over. When it came to my turn, he stood right in my face and said “I’m not normally like this”.

What a bad time to come up with a great response? I said: “You’re not normally nice? Or you’re not normally a cunt?” I went to the bathroom and thought nothing of it. But as soon as I opened the door, he was waiting and punched me in the face quite hard. He then ran out of the club.

What’s weird to me is how, afterwards, I felt somewhere between wanting a gang of friends to hurt this person, and not caring. Hitting someone isn’t really defensible, yet no matter how liberal you are I think it incites a violent spark in you. This is probably the worst thing about it, it makes you feel how you don’t want to feel, like someone you aren’t.

I figured the guy was actually smaller than me, and if he’d attempted to hit me while I was watching, he might have at least found things more difficult, not that I am ever going to fight somebody with any enthusiasm. Again, it’s pretty shit to be forced to start logically assessing your physical ability against someone else purely because they attack you. I ultimately reason that someone who verbally assaults people deserves a verbal response, and should be able to deal with one. Any escalation is bullshit, especially where the person waits to ambush you.

So I mostly regret even bothering to say anything at all. I guess this sort of thing is happening all over the world every night of the week. It’s been years since it’s happened to me though.

One of my earliest memories as a child is seeing somebody on daytime TV talk about migraines. I assumed they were basically worse than cancer because the woman in question had done these psychedelic paintings to symbolise how she felt, with big wavy lines coming from her artily embellished head. They were horrific.

It was enough to make 4 year old me hurriedly ask my mother if there was a risk of me ever getting migraines, in the first “why do good things happen to bad people” realisation of my life.

“No” she said. “Definitely not”.

20 years later I know that she lied to protect me (probably the right course of action in fairness.) I also now know that the average human being is NOT inspired to psychedelic artistic feats by migraines either (what a weirdo that person was!) Instead I just want to sit here with my freezing feet and hands and bore my brain out with a sharp needle.

I have done absolutely zero today (except watch that Lost trailer a few times)

From Iarnrod Eireann’s online timetable: “RESERVATIONS ARE NOT ALLOWED FOR THIS COMBINATION OF STATIONS”.

I am checking a train from the suburbs to Pearse Street. Does anybody in the entirety of Dublin actually think they can reserve a ticket for these journeys, or want to? We need a petition to make them stop forcing us to read that message or click on “timetables” every time we visit the site. It’s silly and makes no sense. Why is reservation the default for suburban rail or the DART?

Sincerely,

Disgusted of North Dublin.

The year is 2067. A massive nuclear war has destroyed the entire earth, leaving only cockroaches. Cockroaches and….several thousand orange faced women spending huge amounts of money in a mostly charred building on Grafton Street in Ireland’s capital city. There are no men left, there are no mirrors left, there is nothing left but cosmetics and scorched earth. But nobody cares when there are 200 euro cleansers on sale.

Forget “I Am Legend”, this is the real apocalyptic future.

Seriously though, do you ever just walk through there and think “is this humanity?”. Sometimes I feel, when you divorce yourself from it and think about it, that shopping and spending money has come to ressemble an inevitable chemical or biological process taking place. I mean, that place is like some sort of commercial ecosystem, a river of money. And for what? I guess people have a right to spend their money on whatever they want, and I don’t want to be misogynistic about this, but still. To me, this tiny part of the world sometimes seems to represent a pulsing nerve centre of a universe I wish I wasn’t forced to be a part of.

This was especially true over Christmas. It’s a good thing I only had to walk through it once or twice when I spent 100 euro on a jumper.

For years you’ve probably wondered what tea really looks like, when freed from the darkness of the common mug. Now Muji have made it possible for you to find out. In years to come we’ll probably look back at the non see through mug with the same tickled disdain with which we view those Victorians who used to line their hats with mercury, thus poisoning themselves.