Winter Music Conference Miami…
Does anyone give a shit about this bloated jizz fest anymore? I can remember a time, I guess pre-internet, when you’d read the dance magazines hysterically eulogising about all of these tunes that had been “blowing up in Miami” etc. Most likely cos there was enough money in writing about techno back then to send them all over there to get loaded for a week.
Looking back at those days, it’s like dance culture moved like a double decker bus in comparison to how quickly things break now. I mean it’s actually laughable, the mags were like: “We have come back from a big DJ conference where we heard new tunes!!” It sounds like fucking Marco Polo or someone bringing silk back to his people as they all gape in amazement like chimps. Now we are marginally less chimplike we hear tunes on Myspace! But yeah, is there anything more “90s dance music” than “OMG! this tune was huge in Miami!”
I can’t help but feel that it was just a big love in for the gatekeepers of dance music. Now these gatekeepers are irrelevant. I guess the magazines cling on to the days when people had to depend on them quite nostalgically. It is rather strange how much power dance music magazines once had, and how the internet completely destroyed it. Now all that’s left are the crumbling dilapidated castles like Miami WMC.
So I guess that’s why you still might read in Mixmag about tunes being “big at Miami”. I mean, I’m sure some concessions have been made to the future: I assume minimal is now represented at the WMC, but I am inclined to say good riddance to the whole thing. It was a little like house music’s equivalent of the Bilderberg Group’s annual meeting! Plus if ever anything was symptomatic of dance music’s “last days of Rome” style decadence leading to its implosion in 2002, it was surely Puff Daddy appearing at Miami that year. (around this time, it’s a little known fact that Danny Tenaglia allegedly bought an island off Ibiza where, as Emperor, he could legally abuse young boys-nb:this is not true)
Anyway this all probably sounds quite miserable on my part. But actually I like the way the accelerated consumption of techno leads to archaic dance music terminology sloshing around the place. It’s sad but fascinating. When I worked in a record store sometimes looking at peoples attempts at selling a night via a flyer would actually make me feel depressed. I guess this is because people put their imagination into these flyers and clubnights and tried to do something, to break free from the grind of daily life, and ultimately failed. I guess they didn’t dwell on it, I did though!
Sometimes dance music can seem so completely artless, and looking at bad flyers or promo posts on message boards is when this feeling is heightened most for me.
Maybe worse even than bad design are clichés, I always wonder where phrases like “DJs on the night” came from in the first place. I mean, how utterly redundant a phrase it is. Why “on the night”? Just in case we assume this event with the date printed on it is taking place some other night? Is this phrase used in Britain? It seems so parochial. Then there’s stuff like “on the ones and twos”, or worse “manning the ones and twos”. There are hundreds more of these awful dance promo clichés! You just think:why use jargon, ever? (though it’s difficult not to, admittedly, when even the names for dance music subgenres are so jargon-like)
Another thing I hate on flyers is when they say”live visuals”. It’s like a supermarket advertising the fact that they have nice tiles or something. Visuals are, quite literally, wallpaper. In a big club you expect them, but you only notice them if they’re great, or completely shit. In a small club you don’t care. Plus let’s face it, the vast majority of “visual artists” are just people who need money to keep their drug dreams alive! All the ones I know anyway.
There must be hundreds more weird obsolete dance music terms…maybe they deserve their own post, any other ideas for things that need to NEVER be said again until techno doesn’t exist anymore?
ellis wrote:
Never mind the music conference, what about this nugget of information: “it’s a little known fact that Danny Tenaglia allegedly bought an island off Ibiza where, as Emperor, he could legally abuse young boys”???!!!
Am I missing something?
Let’s hope Emperor Tenaglia is too busy on his new island to be reading techno blogs on the internet!
Posted 20 Mar 2007 at 7:24 pm ¶
Ronan wrote:
a fabrication too far??
Posted 20 Mar 2007 at 7:26 pm ¶
ellis wrote:
perhaps. A damn good one though!
Posted 20 Mar 2007 at 7:34 pm ¶
Steve wrote:
Well, this post has enough ire to attract quite a few newspaper articles…
Just playing.
And be careful of that Tengalia “fabrication”; the last thing anyone needs is a libel suit.
Posted 20 Mar 2007 at 8:35 pm ¶
Ronan wrote:
allegedly is our friend here! but yeah guess can’t be too careful. i added “nb not true”
Posted 20 Mar 2007 at 9:19 pm ¶
Steve wrote:
Good call.
I think everyone just wants an excuse to hang out in Miami and (allegedly) do coke off each other’s asses. Not that I blame them (for the Miami bit at least)! To be quite honest, I’m much more excited for the DEMF.
Posted 20 Mar 2007 at 9:30 pm ¶
Cahony wrote:
Has Earplug given you the month off then Ronan? P.S. and co. seem to be quite excited about Miami!
Posted 21 Mar 2007 at 11:25 am ¶
Ronan wrote:
haha I didn’t know…I feel bad now cos Phil is sound. if he likes it maybe it’s good!
I think I’ll have a little feature or two coming up in Earplug soon. Jesse Rose interview and hopefully Claude Vonstroke interview too.
Posted 21 Mar 2007 at 11:27 am ¶
Richard wrote:
This is hilarious - there is so much jargon still in electronic music- i hate when people call a record funky for example…i never went to wmc and it seems to have had its day… funny to see loads of the cheesy heads going to sonar now…
Posted 21 Mar 2007 at 8:26 pm ¶
Ronan wrote:
yes it’s full of jargon…it’s kind of sad I guess cos I think the jargon is what makes people get put off….
it’s funny it’s one reason I like using the German sites sometimes, because their pidgin English seems so jargon free sometimes compared to UK or Irish discourse!
on the other hand I reckon “FEEDBACK” is dance music in the 00s most overused word! who taught the Germans that one!
Posted 21 Mar 2007 at 9:58 pm ¶
Ben wrote:
I remember watching a documentary on it back in 2000, and it all seemed really cool. The idea of everyone gathering and finding some gems on vinyl. To me, it seemed cool back then when finding techno was kind of hard and the internet wasn’t what it was nowadays.
But there is probably alot of shite i didn’t see surrounding it. And i was pretty young. So I had a sort of rose-tinted view of it. Plus I didn’t know anyone personally who had the same interest in it all as me. So the idea of meeting up for the sake of techno and house music seemed deadly.
But i see where your coming from. There is a good line up though on one day. With all Matthew Dear, Hawtin, villalobos and the like. That’s definitely what Phil’s heading over for im sure.
Posted 22 Mar 2007 at 12:59 am ¶
Jacob wrote:
Christ if you think those are bad flyer cliches you should see the nonsense they put on singapore club flyers. Every single dj plays “his unique blend of house and techno”. i.e. could be pretty much anything.
Posted 22 Mar 2007 at 9:53 am ¶
Ronan wrote:
I’m sure there are tons of good acts playing…tho I’ve heard from a few that it’s pretty crap…
haha “unique blend of house and techno”, I like the way the useless bullshit of daily advertising seeps into peoples vocabulary when trying to sell ANYTHING. another good one like this is “the choicest cuts of house music” or something. just makes me think of a butcher…not good music.
Posted 22 Mar 2007 at 10:06 am ¶
Nate wrote:
lol
“This week is our special WMC Edition, which will feature the hottest tracks to be dropped in Miami this week at the Winter Music Conference.
With a sumptuous sound system, incredible vibe and choice clientele, [REDACTED] will be rocked each week by its founder and resident DJ — [REDACTED] — along with guest DJs, live percussion and live sax.
[REDACTED] always features the choicest cuts of forward dance music across genres (chunky electro, pumpin’ disco, filthy funk, Latin/Brazilian, rock-house & a touch of tribal & tech).”
Posted 23 Mar 2007 at 3:13 am ¶
Ronan wrote:
“*insert genre name* LIKE YOUR MAMA USED TO MAKE!!!”
(doesn’t make me buy soup in a fucking carton, won’t make me like a club!)
Posted 23 Mar 2007 at 3:28 am ¶
knowing looks wrote:
i felt juvenile for posting a pisstake bio on my site, but happy to see i’m not alone in my disdain for 1st person written 3rd person bios that say nothing while making the creator look desperate about insignificant events in their career….
Bio:
Knowing Look’s chunky rolling beatz have been wowing since years ago - but his musical journey had been garnering attention long before that; The day he was born, his first cry after the umbilical cord was cut was in perfect pitch!
One of the doctors present compared his inherent musicality to ’someone great at whatever they do’
What sets him apart from his contemporaries is he is a classically trained musician (recorder in elementary school, baton in marching band)
Having been to parties by artists as diverse as jeff mills and surgeon, jason has learned how to read a crowd and likens his sets to ‘a pretty good time’
Jason once got an a+ in a spelling exam!
Unsigned, jason is in negotiations with many netlabels about releasing some of his uplifting chunky rolling beats, though spending hours with other industry pros on electronic music forums has made him reconsider selling out his sound and he may just make his music downloadable on youtube, but now that is owned by google, and they are selling out too, so maybe the loose change guys will use it for their documentaries exposing america’s lies.
No matter which way you try to dissect this professional music lover and maker, you can bet this is the year he lives up to the promise a certain ‘fan’ wrote in a letter a few years back!
“Jason has the ability to do much better if he would focus more in class, complete his homework and try harder” -mrs dodds
….after heartily enjoying the laffs, please visit the site and buy my records so i can become a big shot and not waste my life online anymore
http://www.myspace.com/knowinglooks
Posted 24 Mar 2007 at 9:56 pm ¶
The Eyechild wrote:
Most dance rags are shit, but I do l lament the passing of Jockeyslut Magazine, which managed to tread the thin line between being hip and promoting some at least semi-serious music journalism.
Posted 25 Mar 2007 at 7:06 pm ¶
Didi wrote:
i used to love it when the old early 90s rave nights would always inform u of their sound rig size in a shouty ad on pulse fm or somewhere… twas as if no one would turn up if the sound rig was less than 10000k..
great days, great days
Posted 25 Mar 2007 at 8:25 pm ¶
jB wrote:
On a similar vein to that of Knowing Looks (except this guy is real, unfortunately)
Bio:
“Across the globe, Matt K has been laying down his signature sound of speaker-smashing grooves that’s been receiving ecstatic responses from sweat-drenched crowds. Head first into the new way of clubbing, Matt refuses to let the philosophy behind a new idea in dance music ever go away.
After being inspired by the more affluent tribal sounds of progressive house, Matt started spinning as a way to recreate what was the essence of the party for him: the science of the mix. Immediately gaining the utmost respect for the trade, he refused to mix anything out of key, and strived to achieve an almost thematic element to his sets whenever he took control of the decks.”
Posted 26 Mar 2007 at 6:14 am ¶
Ronan wrote:
“strived to achieve an almost thematic element to his sets whenever he took control of the decks”
does this mean took more drugs when playing or stopped altogether? who can tell….
Posted 26 Mar 2007 at 11:37 am ¶